In July of 1999, I discovered I was pregnant. We already had two other children and I was very familiar with the symptoms of pregnancy. Within the first few weeks, I was experiencing all the normal symptoms but on a grander scale. The morning sickness was the biggest clue for me, as I was so ill I could not pick my head up off the pillow without getting sick. I talked to my doctor about all the symptoms and he suggested that maybe I was carrying twins. This was exciting news for me because I had two uncles who were twins, and being the last grandchild to have babies, I was hoping it was me who would carry on the tradition of twins in the family.
A blood test was performed and indicated that my HCG level was double what it should be. So at 15 weeks pregnant (on September 15th and my birthday) an ultrasound was performed and it was determined that indeed there were two sacs. However, there was only one fetus that resembled that of a baby. My doctor explained to my husband and I about the Vanishing Twin Syndrome at that time. We were left feeling numb, but at the same time, overjoyed at the first pictures of our precious baby that was still growing.
It was bittersweet. I kept those pictures, and they are in my daughter’s baby book right now with a note to her, promising to explain them to her someday. All through my pregnancy, I was sure I was having a boy. I even took a blue outfit to the hospital. Imagine my surprise when the doctor said, “It’s a girl!”. After she was born, the placenta came, and my doctor proceeded to examine it and show me the remains of the twin that died around 12 weeks in utero. It looked like a mass of wet chalk…very pasty. But it was my baby. I looked over to see my precious Lauren being cleaned up, and I praised God for the blessing of her life.
My sweet baby that is in Heaven, is a little boy…I just know it. And I’ve named him Caleb. That was the boy name we had picked out when I was pregnant. Someday I will tell Lauren about her twin brother. I look at her sometimes and I can imagine her brother with her. I don’t know if or how this will affect her emotionally. I just pray that she has a happy and full life. Thank you for reading my story.
Donna, Woodstock, GA