I had my first ultrasound at 15 weeks. To my complete surprise I found out I was having triplets. I was in shock, I was actually going to have three boys. At 18 weeks, I found out that I had TTTS. Babies A and C were the ones affected but baby B was progressing normally. I was then faced with the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I could opt for a surgery that would eliminate baby A which may or may not help baby C, but would put me at great risk for pre term labor. Even if I could save one of the affected babies, there was a strong possibility of heart and brain defects due to the TTTS. My biggest concern had to be for baby B. He needed to have time for his lungs to develop. For him, I needed to make it to 30 weeks.

I had numerous therapeutic amnios to remove the excess fluid that continued to build. I had been told that babies A and C probably would not make it, but I still held out hope. I found out at 26 weeks that baby A’s heart had stopped. It wasn’t a complete shock, but devastating nonetheless. The only thing that was keeping me going was the desire to hold it together for baby B. And it worked. At 30 weeks I went into labor.

Baby C was too small and his organs never had the chance to fully develop. He died shortly after birth. But by the grace of God Baby B had fought his way into the world. He had to stay in the NICU for 2 months, but he is doing great. His name is Riley. He is 3 years old now and aside from being on the small side, he is absolutely perfect.

Someday he will learn that he has two angels, Alexander and Cameron, that are watching over their brother and keeping him safe. It was very difficult to receive congratulatory and condolence cards at the same time. Mourning the loss of what might have been had to take a back seat to what could be. I promised myself that I would stay focused on what I was blessed with instead of what was taken from me. I firmly believe that Riley made it to this earth for a reason. Someone has plans for him and I am going to do my best to make sure that they are realized.

I know in my heart that Alexander and Cameron are being well taken care of until I can be with them. I visit their grave every week and tell them how much I love them. But I have to be thankful for being able show Riley how much I love him everyday.

Christine, St. Clair Shores, MI

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